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And I Love Her

Momandme

A snapshot of a snapshot, blurred like the memory that takes me back to everything within that 1/100 of a second.

The temperature outside. The discussion we had before this picture was taken. The sound of her voice. The smell of her perfume. The feel of her hand on my arm. How much I now know how much that all mattered.

I think of her every day, a bit more on some than others. But always. In all ways. And I’m often keenly aware how much I ache for it. And how grateful I am to have had it. 

So to all of you celebrating today, I celebrate with you. To those of you who are struggling today, I understand. But to all of us who have been mothered—whether by conventional means or through magnificent, unexpected surrogates—Mother’s Day is every day.

What you do and who you are matters . . . even when you may not realize that it does. Because we’ve all loved and lost. And love? Always wins.

And I love her.

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And I Love Her

And I Love Her

A snapshot of a snapshot, blurred like the memory that takes me back to everything within that 1/100 of a second. The temperature outside. The discussion we had before this picture was taken. The sound of her voice. The smell of her perfume. The feel of her hand on my arm. How much I nowContinue Reading

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Nine.

It’s fall again, the comfort of the season all around me like thoughts of you. I write letters to you in my head, mostly in the middle of the night when my brain refuses to give in to the pressures of sleep, because that hasn’t changed. I think of all the things unsaid, left hangingContinue Reading

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Remembering Michael

A piece of my heart died tonight when I found out Michael Higdon had died. Like all news of that sort, I felt like I’d been punched square in the chest. He was immortal in my mind. Despite emphysema, despite that he was 71 years old, Michael would always be the man whose laughter permeatesContinue Reading

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The Ache of Elsewhere

The Ache of Elsewhere

To my beloved October: Even after all we’ve been through—especially after all we’ve been through—I eagerly await your return every year. You’ve often delivered painful news + one particular life-changing, gut-punch loss, but inevitably, you never fail to bring me such joy. And because of that, I am endlessly fascinated by you. Thank you for being here. As I ache. AsContinue Reading

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And Just Like That, It Was June

And Just Like That, It Was June

“There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth . . . not going all the way, and not starting.” – Buddha May and June passed each other at midnight. “Welcome back,” whispered May, kissing June on the cheek before  disappearing into the darkness. “So many lovely miles to go,” sighed June,Continue Reading

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The Jeweler

The Jeweler

“Creating art allows us to express our deepest feelings and ideas without having to put a name to them.” – Robert Dalton My eyes darted around when I walked in; I had no idea which way to look first. There was stuff everywhere in the tiny space. Glass cases to my left, paintings and sculpturesContinue Reading

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The Promise of a New May

The Promise of a New May

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.” ―Rainer Maria Rilke “Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm.” ― John Muir “What a strange thing! to be alive beneath cherry blossoms.”  ― Kobayashi Issa “As full of spirit as the month of May, and as gorgeous asContinue Reading

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Jaunty Man

Jaunty Man

“Some hats can only be worn if you’re willing to be jaunty, to set them at an angle and to walk beneath them with a spring in your stride as if you’re only a step away from dancing.” ― Neil Gaiman Lucca, Italy. My eyes scanned my surroundings—the perfect mix of residents and tourists—always onContinue Reading

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In and Out of Africa . . . Again

In and Out of Africa . . . Again

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find how you yourself have altered.” – Nelson Mandela It’s felt different each of the three times I’ve been back—but it always feels like home. Everything bathed in a warm, golden light. Lone trees on the horizon. And the skies. Oh, the skiesContinue Reading

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My Magic Camera

My Magic Camera

“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I was at the movies, which looked more like an airport, with rows of uncomfortable seats semi-aimed at various screens showing non-discernable movies. I sat, joined shortly by two men near me on my right,Continue Reading

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